Home Truths

A fictional exchange of emails

From: [email protected]
To: [email protected]
Hi Sarge!
How are you doing out there in the wilds? Mum and Dad are also wondering how things are for you. Mum says does Sonia like the new house? It must be great to have your own place.
Hear from you soon I hope – Sanjeev

From: [email protected]
Hi Sanjeev,
We certainly feel far away, that’s for sure. We’re surrounded by hills instead of houses! Yesterday, Sunday, it was really weird not to be dragged out of bed by Dad and told to go to satsang. To be honest, we hardly know what to do with ourselves, though I would never have guessed I’d be saying that. I’ve been thinking quite a lot about Sant Mat recently. I wish I’d talked to you about it while I had the chance. How do you manage to make it your ‘own’ when you’ve grown up with it? How did it feel getting initiated?
Anyway, got to go now and collect Sonia who has been checking out the local shops – Yours, Sarge

From: [email protected]
Getting initiated was good. What do you mean by ‘your own’?

From: [email protected]
I mean (and I know this sounds bad) that I feel I’ve spent most of my life resisting Mum and Dad rather than believing in Sant Mat. Well – that’s not strictly true, I DO believe it but some things just don’t add up for me. Like, we’re told not to follow rituals but it seems to me that going to satsang is a ritual. Also, the point of being a satsangi is to do meditation but I know Mum doesn’t do it every day of her life. Probably this is something that I didn’t find the words to say when I was at home. Now that I’m missing home, I’m thinking about the things that didn’t stack up.

From: [email protected]
Dear Sarge,
Satsang is just so that we can remember the Master and the teachings. That’s all it’s there for. Parents get their kids to do all sorts of things that will be useful to them in later life, which the kids don’t appreciate at the time – going to school, doing chores, keeping clean. The parents know it’s useful even if the kid doesn’t. Look at yourself – the reason that you know about Sant Mat is because our parents took the trouble to take us to satsang. Do you think Dad thought it was a ritual? I think he’s a very passionate satsangi. As for Mum, you know that her health’s always up and down. And besides, why are you expecting initiates to be perfect? We get initiated because we’re not perfect – and that includes Mum and Dad – and then we have to struggle to do what’s expected of us and live up to it all. When I decided to ask for Nam, Uncle Ji (the Secretary) told me to look to Baba Ji only. That was the best advice I ever had. Ignore what other people do and don’t do. Your own relationship with the Master is all that counts. Anyway, keep thinking …

From: [email protected]
It’s all very well to make excuses by saying that no one’s perfect, but surely there should be a difference between satsangis’ behaviour and people who don’t have the benefit of the teachings? Take our cousin Lilli. When she wanted to get married to that guy her family didn’t approve of, they were really unpleasant about it. I’m glad Lilli’s happily settled now, but it’s no thanks to them. There was talk about his being the wrong caste and, say what you like, I KNOW that doesn’t fit with Sant Mat which says that we have to go right beyond caste and creed. Yours from the wilds (physically and mentally) – Sarge

From: [email protected]
Okay, so you or I wouldn’t join in that unpleasantness because we’re a different generation. But don’t think that because caste and creed may not be an issue with us, we may not fall into other traps which are equally at odds with the purity of Sant Mat. Look, I’ll say it again: it’s a struggle. Stop judging others. Instead of asking other people to live up to your expectations, see whether you can do it yourself. I remember a conversation you had with Mum when you told her you were moving north. She said you wouldn’t like it there. And you said you were “a big enough boy” to be able to pick out what you wanted and leave the rest. Surely that’s how we ought to be with Sant Mat? Shouldn’t we be able to realize the jewel that is the Master, and recognise that what others do or don’t do isn’t our concern?

From: [email protected]
Now you’re making me feel bad. Where’s the nearest satsang to here?

From: [email protected]
Sarge, it’s only fifty miles. Get on your bike!