A Sinner or a Saint?

After a lifetime of following Sant Mat, listening to countless satsangs, and reading extensively about spirituality, I’ve concluded that I’d rather be a sinner than a saint. No doubt many readers are raising their eyebrows upon reading this, so let’s qualify this statement with a more accurate one: a ‘sinner’ is what most of us are today. This article draws from the writings of the 17th century Christian mystic Madame Jeanne-Marie Guyon to explain why recognizing and accepting our limitations helps us evolve spiritually.

Recognition and acceptance
Much of the RSSB spiritual literature describes mystics as ‘perfect’. However, Baba Ji clarifies that mystics aren’t ‘perfect’ so much as ‘complete’. Unlike us, they do not exist in duality. Without the veil of the mind separating them from the divine, mystics are always at one with the Shabd, and, therefore, complete. This subtle but important difference between ‘perfect’ and ‘complete’ is perhaps necessary for the age in which we live, when striving for the former seems so unattainable and thus it may deter one from even making a start. By contrast, the idea of becoming ‘complete’ seems not only more achievable but resonates with an innate yearning within us.

Within this context, its useful to re-evaluate what we understand by the terms ‘sin’ and ‘sinners’. Typically, the words carry such negative connotations that sometimes we associate them with the concept of ‘evil’. Yet, as explained in The Path of the Masters, evil does not exist:

In a universe created by an all-wise God, whose fundamental essence is goodness and love, there is no room for such a thing as evil. It simply does not exist. But there are many degrees of good, of the light. In its final aspect, there is nothing bad in the world, neither is there sin nor fault in anyone. What appears so is due to our limited understanding.

The above quotation helps us understand that the mystics do not view us – the sinners – negatively but in a state of incompleteness. Accordingly, to acknowledge oneself as a ‘sinner’ is nothing to be ashamed of but rather a positive development in one’s spiritual awakening. In fact, since Baba Ji often reminds us that self-realization is a precursor to God-realization, it’s logical to assume that coming to terms with our current self – warts and all – is a precursor to self-realization.

By recognizing that we are sinners, we kick-start a humbler attitude in our quest to become one with our Master. Indeed, the humility to recognize ourselves as we are constitutes the first step towards our spiritual transformation. As the anonymous author of The Cloud of Unknowing stated, “Humility … is nothing but a true knowledge and feeling of oneself as one is.” Madame Guyon elaborates on this point, stating:

It is extremely important that you guard against being annoyed or irritated with yourself because of your faults. Such feelings spring from a secret root of pride and a love of your own excellence. You get [upset and] hurt by seeing what you [really] are.
_{Experiencing Union with God Through Inner Prayer}

It seems that we can view ourselves as courageous, determined sinners who are madly in love with the Master. However, since we’re also aspiring to deepen our love for him, we must first learn to love ourselves. As Maharaj Charan Singh counsels in Spiritual Perspectives Vol. III, “our thoughts should be very loving and helpful to ourselves”.

Our weaknesses capture the attention of the Shepherd
Madame Guyon believed that viewing ourselves as sinners is important to our spiritual evolution because the Lord uses our weaknesses to scrub us clean, thereby rendering us pure again. From this perspective, our imperfections are fortuitous because they capture the love and attention of the Shepherd. In 2 Corinthians, Saint Paul quotes Jesus as saying, “My grace is sufficient for thee; for my strength is made perfect in weakness”. In other words, it is from a divine saviour that human beings receive the grace to overcome their weaknesses and become whole like him. If we take this one step further, we realize that it’s our incompleteness that allows God to shower his grace on us. If we were already perfect, what would there be for the Master to do?

Madame Guyon gives another reason why we should be happy to be ‘sinners’. She says “The discovery of your weakness and emptiness, is an evidence of God’s love; and while it is ground for humiliation, it is also ground for thanksgiving.”

Essentially, she is encouraging us to be grateful to the inner Master for shining a light on our weaknesses, because only when we are aware of them can we work towards overcoming them, and acquire the virtues necessary for union with the divine. Conversely, if we fail to see our shortcomings, we strengthen them and continue to hold ourselves in high esteem for our piety and righteousness. And pride, as we learn from the mystics, is the greatest obstacle of all in our quest to fulfill life’s principal purpose – union with the divine.

A third reason why Madame Guyon thought it important to come to terms with our weaknesses is that in doing so, we realize that our efforts to enter the gates of heaven are wholly inadequate. As we progress from intellectually understanding how inconsequential we are to feeling it in our innermost being, the more we come to rely on the grace of the Lord to see us through to the end. She contrasts this attitude with that of people she calls “self-righteous”, who try to enter heaven by way of their own strength, whether this be through charitable work, piety, or prayer. She states that “his graces are the effects of his will, not the fruits of our merits”. By submitting to his will every morning and making the effort to do our meditation, regardless of results, we invoke the Lord’s grace.

Remembrance
The root of all sin lies in the mind which, manifesting as ego, creates the illusion of a separate identity from God. To end our sense of duality requires an annihilation of the ego and the best way of achieving this is to continually remember the Master. When providing guidance on this point, Maharaj Charan Singh paraphrased the words of a previous mystic, stating:

I have got this human birth just to remember you, and I can achieve the purpose of this human birth only if I give my devotion to you. If I do not do that, I am not making proper use of the human form.
_{Spiritual Perspectives, Vol. III}

While it goes without saying that we are to follow the instructions given to us during initiation, Maharaj Charan Singh is advising us to remember the Master throughout the day. This is because by repeating simran as much as possible, we develop a deeper, more intimate relationship with the Shabd Master. Ultimately, it’s this living in the remembrance of Nam that reduces our sense of separation. Brother Lawrence is a good example of somebody who devoted his life to feeling God’s presence throughout the day. However, as his letters reveal, this is not something that occurred automatically, but required tremendous attention and dedication on his part. We too can become attuned to feeling God’s constant presence.

Surrender
Striving for divine union is not easy or always full of joy; there will be times, Madame Guyon warns us, when we’re likely to experience dark and painful moments. What we think is best for our spiritual welfare may be completely different from the Master’s plan for us. In fact, to destroy our love of the self, he may turn all our assumptions and plans upside down. However, she also explains that, once the cleansing period begins producing its desired effect, we readily accept all that comes our way, happily surrendering to his will. This slow transformative process begins with us thinking “my Master, my Guru, my Lord” and ends with the realization that ‘my’, ‘mine’, and ‘I’ do not exist. Once we were sinners but now our beautiful, sparkling soul has become indistinguishable from the ocean of Oneness.